OMG A BATman: Part I

In approximately twenty hours and thirty minutes, I will bear audience to The Dark Knight, the anticipation of which film I feel, in retrospect, has been my primary occupation for the past two months. Professional reviews of the movie have been overwhelmingly positive, but no critics’ words so excite me as those of the few who found it to be unimpressive. Marc Savlov of the Austin Chronicle asserts that Batman’s latest cinematic adventure is “shrouded in grim portent, overlaid with a filigree of despair, and, for good measure, covered in a patina of dire consequence”, while David Edelstein of New York Magazine proclaims, “The Dark Knight is noisy, jumbled, and sadistic.” David Denby of the New Yorker writes, “The movie is grim and jammed together. The narrative isn’t shaped coherently to bring out contrasts and build toward a satisfying climax. The Dark Knight is constant climax; it’s always in a frenzy, and it goes on forever”, and Marshall Fine of Star Magazine states succinctly, “this movie is too in love with itself to make you love it.” Indeed, each of these criticisms has, on at least one occasion, been leveled against my character and/or sexual performance by a girl I’ve dated, a fact whose evidence provokes me to deduce that The Dark Knight is nothing less than me in motion picture form.   

– Gothicus Maximus

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2 Responses to “OMG A BATman: Part I”

  1. You wish bruh… 😉

  2. I am looking forward to watching the new Batman movie myself this weekend. Tomorrow — I thought — but it looks like no outing will form until Saturday…

    The first one came across excellently. I hope that they did the same treatment, if not better tuned, for the second.

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