PARTY TIME

In my extensive travels throughout cyberspace, I have encountered many a disturbing spectacle, but no to which I have yet borne witness can rival the expressible atrocity embodied in a particular four minute excerpt from director Camillo Teti’s 2001 work, Titanic: The Animated Movie. Yes, a cartoon feature, intended for children, based on what is perhaps history’s greatest maritime tragedy. This notion in itself is problematically ambitious, but not inherently flawed– I can conceive of a movie that treats the events in question with sufficient respect while retaining the capacity to entertain children. Teti, however, chooses to pursue an entirely different direction, one involving dogs that rap.

If I recall, the Titanic’s fateful voyage took place in 1912, which fact would indicate that our canine best friends are the true founders of Hip-Hop. Even beyond the disarmingly stupid idea that a movie about the Titanic should feature a dog performing an impossibly inane song in a style that would not emerge until at least 50 years from the time of the events the film depicts, the animation itself is abysmal at best and genuinely frightening at worst, exemplified by the inexplicably mexican banjo-playing mice, the poster reading “Rap Music” adhered to the brick wall before which characters suddenly appear at random, and particularly those eyes at around 1:28. 

To accentuate the discrepancy between Teti’s attitude and the nature of the subject he’s chosen to tackle, and in part for my own perverse amusement, I took the liberty of juxtaposing “Party Time” with a few scenes from James Cameron’s 1997 live-action Titanic, a somewhat more tactful piece of historical fiction.  

Even still, the most harrowing aspect of Party Time is not the horridness of the content itself, but rather that its existence deprives me of the ability to ignore the possibility that, within my lifetime, I may witness 9/11: The Animated Movie.

– Gothicus Maximus

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